Where have I been?

 Dear blog, 

It has been a hot minute since I posted something. But, what can I say, life has a way of throwing us for a loop. The song that currently describes my life is Thomas Rhett's Life Changes. Nine months ago I found out I was pregnant with my third child! Yeah, you read that right; THIRD!!! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be pregnant again; especially not after the last time being so traumatizing and my husband getting a vasectomy. FUN FACT of the day fact, a vasectomy can reverse itself after 7 years. So be careful if you are relying on one to be your permanent birth control. 1 in every 200 isn't permanent, and my husband had to be that 1. Was it easy to process, no. I cried myself to sleep for several months. I was scared about what happened last time and I didn't want that to happen again. I have no idea how we could afford another child, things are not the same as they were seven years ago. Everything is way more expensive now and the scarcity of certain items such as formula is definitely a scary prospect. 

The first hurdle of the pregnancy was to find a doctor who would take our case. Due to may last pregnancy's issues doctors were scared to take me on as a patient because they didn't want to risk something happening during the birth. I was told the beginning would be easy, but as I got farther along the pregnancy could have some very serious complications. This was all scary to hear and overwhelming. But thankfully everything during the pregnancy went smoothly. I met a team of doctors who took my case and they took great care of me during the delivery. They took their time to make sure it was done properly. I'm beyond thankful and I know we serve a mighty God that carried me though the whole process. Working full time as a teacher and being pregnant was not fun. I was super exhausted and stressed, especially in the last month. Often I would get home in so much pain due to the tension from the day. 

Let's fast forward to the present. I can't imagine my life without my new daughter. It was a blessing I didn't know I needed, but God knew. Do I understand why it happened? No, I do not! But I wouldn't want it any other way. Is it easy, no it is not. Trying to juggle the baby while giving the oldest two the attention they need is overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing them. That mom guilt is real. But my kiddos have been so understanding and helpful that my heart is bursting with joy. They love their sister and they have been super willing to help care for her. 

Currently, I'm not working since I must recuperate from the C-section and honestly if I could work from home I would. I love being a teacher, but I feel like I give so much at work, by the time I get home I'm drained and don't have enough to give to my own family. But, for now I'm going to enjoy time with my baby and hopefully find something I can do from home. 


                                                                        Have a blessed day!

                                                                                    Besitos

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